by Poca Cosa

his grip

I’m nervous as I sit on the plane, I try to sleep but I’m thinking and can’t get the thoughts out of my mind. A nice lady calms me down by making small talk. We talk about the city and business blah blah blah. The airplane speech, I have it almost down to an art to describe what it is I do and the right questions to ask to gather information about people. I have always been a people person communication was a very important part of socializing with adults when I was a child. In my personal relationship, love  and friendship have paid a tole.

My past lovers have been true gentlemen who wanted nothing but please Princess. I was, I was always impressed and felt their love for me their need for me. The only problem is I didn’t return it the way they did. I would fake it. I would put on a show and seduce them in order to get sex, which at times wasn’t very good sex. It was be just sex. There was no passion or wish to make me happy, it was about them. Which being in a BDSM relationship is all about. But there is the trick to this. Being a submissive is pleasure. The idea of having someone else make the decisions, taking advantage of me, using me for what He wants, is a complete turn on for me It allows those fantasies that I have longed for to come true. For all the men that I have loved, treasured, respected, and felt a kindness only few know and set back into the world, I apologize. I truly and honestly apologize. It is better that I did then to keep stringing you along and realize you weren’t The One. Please understand that I am now happy and wish you the same.

The plane landed and I quickly turned on my cell. Message from friend, uuugh not him, message from boy-not now, message from Mom, ahh not who I want to talk to at the moment, message from unknown number “Welcome back to Nashville. 1015 Sugar Court 37207. See you soon. -Sir” Shit! My mind is racing at this point I wait for my bag and am constantly checking my cell, hoping for an update. I run to the bathroom and change brush my teeth and get ready. I said I was going to be there at 8:30 but airports are too unpredictable and I didn’t want to be late. For anxiety was building up, what if I am late and he hurts me (punishment), what if he is a killer and I am dead in a few hours, what if I can’t go through with this and break down and cry? All the possibilities the scenarios of what the night to be danced imaginatively in my mind. I start towards his house.

I speed down the highway and text him, “Thank glad to be back, I’m on my way, do I knock or just come in?” “Just come in, when you enter the house take off all your clothes on the colored rug and walk towards the fire.”-Sir. I had strategically picked out what to wear, with the limited about you can fit on a carry on size suitcase I travel and it is a really easy way to go about my schedule. A white tunic that is shear and shows my bra, my favorite pair of jeans they hug just the right areas and fit very well on my body they’re the usual always look goof feel good jean, and some 6 inch platform heels. He is 6’3”, very tall next to someone as small as I am.

Siri guides me along to his house, I think what if his house is horrible, what if I can’t do this, ‘what if’s’ i swear they could kill you. I pulled into his drive way and sat there in the car engine running. I inspected the house. It looked very nice. Nothing I couldn’t see myself living in. My heart is racing at this point, this is so out of character to show up to a complete strangers house. Not only to a stranger, a Dominant stranger, a man who would love to tie me up, restrain me, use me, and enjoy every minute of it. I was shaking, but I gathered up the courage, what little I had left, and walked towards the door. Just breathe, juuuust breathe, I reach for the door handle and stop, I am frozen panicking! I am panicking and thinking I am a little lamb showing up to be feasted on by a lion, I am this helpless Lady who is going to willingly take off her clothes for a man to watch me and do as he will, and a complete stranger! Frozen I standing there thinking should I go?

Before I could talk myself out of it, running away, and disappearing from this; the door opened. He opened the door and I stepped in, too late now. The room was dimly lit and a fire was glowing crackling giving heat to the room. As I turned around I was met with two eyes looking down at me, they looked at me with confidence and a sensation that made me feel I was a defenseless animal and he was looking at dinner. My heart was racing and I was frozen. Helpless. He approached me in two strides and assisted with my coat.

I was shaking, nervous and scared, He wrapped me in his arms. “You are very nervous, I can feel your heart beating, I can feel the chills running down your body, I can feel you shaking.” “I am so nervous I haven’t done this before and I am very nervous.” He kissed my neck and held me close. Soothing me and calming my nerves, my mind, I had to gain control of myself or this night will never happen. “Why did you come then?” “To feel pleasure, to be yours.” He grabs me and leads me to the fire, a red velvet couch sits in front of it a round ottoman with a blanket lays on top of it. I guess thats where I am to sit. He slowly says “No.” He leads me into the area and waits, I know what I am to do and why he is waiting. He is waiting for me to undress myself. I look at him and take of my shirt, one layer. I removed my bra, another layer, the whole time staring at him. I go to sit on the couch to take off my shoes, I’m trying to be sexy and poised, the last thing I need is to fall flat on my face trying to take off those heels.

He walks in front of me staring at me the entire time, circling around me. I’m still shaking and nervous, I finally strip down and am completely naked. I feel so exposed, more exposed than I have ever been. In the past my lovers and I would strip down and get down to it. they wouldn’t really look at me, appreciate me in my best. It was hot and heavy and poof, it would be over, this this is something way more intense. Maybe thats why I am drawn to this, to feel a completion with my desires and sex. As I stood there he looked me over, spun me around and muttered, “nice, very nice, you will do.” How can words so demeaning to a women be such a turn on. He sat me down on the ottoman and blind folded me. My other sense kicked in and I could feel he had turned away, I could here him muffling around then I hear a zip, he took off his clothes and was kneeling next to me. “Now. Why did you come here?” “I’m here, I’m here because I want to be, I choose to be here.” “Good. You are to give yourself to me, to give to my will, to be mine. You understand?” The chills ran all over my body and I was wet, really wet and I didnt care. I nodded.

I want to be his, I want to belong to something greater than myself. I have longed to find my soulmate, is he The One, only time can tell. For now I will give myself to him honestly, openly, and trustingly.

He laid my down on the ottoman and slapped my legs open, I hesitantly opened them and tried to keep them semi closed, He slapped them again. He kisses my neck and unties my hair, it falls down and trails over my body, he grabs it and gently pulls it. He begins to play with my pussy. “You’re wet.” “Yes, I am this has been something I have wanted to do for a long time.” “You’re Very wet.” “This is very erotic and different, I haven’t done something like this.” He begins to stroke my pussy slowly playing with my pussy and clit  he rhythmically  strokes it and watches me gasp for air as my body twitches. He went harder and harder making me moan and scream, I came. He didnt stop, he just kept going, my orgasm was quicker this time, again I came. Never stopping only going harder and harder he continued, I came again, my body in shakes and waves of emotion and electricity. As he stopped and slowly kissed me hungrily hard on the mouth, I moaned and reached for him, holding onto his neck letting him feel my appreciation for three orgasms. He grabbed my neck and propped me up, my legs instantly went around him, straddling him as we deepened the kiss.

My nerves were gone and I was calm, we talk, this is the first time we are getting to know each other as people, not as sexual beings. I curled up on him and talked, getting to know each other and discovering who we are as human beings. I guess I am lucky enough to have found someone as kinky as I am and that still wants to hold me and get to know who I am. We discovered each other in more than one way and I feel I have already given myself to him and there is nothing that I dont want to share with him. We talked about how long I had been wanting to do this, he was curious, he wanted to get to know me. I love it, I love that he wants to get to know me, that he wants to please me and I him. That he wants to go out to dinner and hang out outside of the bedroom.

To be honest I don’t think I could have any other type of relationship. If this doesnt work out the way I would like it to or can see the potential in, I just may have to look for something like this. Someone who loves me completely and wholly for who I am and what I like to do.

He led me into the bedroom and laid me down. on my stomach, “arms up” he told me. I did as I was told. He began putting oil all over my body and rubbing me down. A Dominant who wants to give me a massage? Is this for real? Everything I have read is about the whole game of it being a completely kinky fest. Where there is no passion or caring of the other and is strictly a ‘use me” status. An extreme power play. Maybe he is different, he says he is looking for someone in and out of the bedroom. He wants something more, at this point I really would like to be that for him. He is educated, handsome, older and caring of my needs. We will have to wait and see what this all falls out to be.

He climbed on my back and kept massaging me, he made me open my legs slapping them open, he slapped my ass. I mean slapped it I thought I was going to scream. I loved the sound and the feeling it brought to me. He played harder and harder on His “button” grabbing my hair then making his way to my neck. He latched on squeezing it, softly not too much pressure, I probably would be comfortable with him going harder but I didnt say anything. He said “You’re wet again. You like that dont you?” Do I ever, I have wanted for someone to grab me like that and make me feel helpless. I nodded and he began pumping himself on me. I began to moan, squirm and shake, he later told me that it was one of the 2 times that felt me really squeeze. It was hot and it felt good. He continued to make my cum another 3 times, a total of 7 times in one night. The most I have ever! I always had to fake it, I may have felt only a handful of true orgasms and tonight I was alive, this this is real. We never had intercourse, he said he had promised himself not to make love to me, did you catch that? Make Love to me! aaaahh!  He wanted to break that very much, I looked him in the eyes and told him we could wait, take it slow and not have to rush into things that there would be plenty of time to do all of that. Honestly I think I wasn’t ready for it, giving mysefl to him for the first time, the first time to anyone was more than enough for a first date.

He laid down on the bed and I curled up on him again. Grateful for what he has done for me, in one night he has blown all my records and has me thinking about him none stop ever sense. “You are to say ‘thank you’ next time you cum.” “Yes of course” I said, that feels like a rule. I dare not to forget it, I have a feeling he may be nice but I know he has a dark streak, he would punish me for messing up and I am too much of a good girl to upset Daddy in that fashion. I would much rather be punished because I wanted to be punished, not because I messed up or gave him a reason to be angry. I was screaming and saying to stop as he happily carried on playing with His button. He held me and we kept talking learning about each other, we have a lot more in common than I had anticipated.

The rest of the night was like that. We talked and laughed and are planting a seed that could grow into something more than just playmates. My Dom cares, and wants to find love, I trust we are compatible and can start a monogamous relationship. One that we agree upon and can be fully ourselves around each other. We’re going out to dinner tomorrow and then having a private session. I have an early flight to catch in the morning so we will see if I should be ready for a sleep over or come back home. Maybe he isnt The One (gosh I kinda hope he is though) but I know now that I will always be grateful towards him, for bringing me into this new lifestyle, for being kind and trustworthy, for allowing me to give myself to him.

Thank you Daddy, Dom, Master, Sir and all the other names he may be in the future.