by Poca Cosa


I just saw the movie Secretary with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. The movie is a few years old and I streamed it online after reading about it in a book about kink. I’ve read two books that are wonderful! I will list and discuss them in another posting but for now I will discuss the movie.

The movie starts of with Maggie being a soft mousey secretary who is masochistics, cuts herself and was recently in a mental hospital. She is hired by James Spader to be his secretary. He slowly discovers that Maggie is cutting herself and is in need of discipline. He coaches, guides, and allows for her to blossom before his eyes. By the end of the movie she is in love. in pure love with a man who has taken control over her life and transformed her into a strong empowering woman.

Seeing how it started, seeing how he molded her to His creation. He made her. I want that, I want Dom to work with me and make me into what he wants. I am going to ask him if he can set tasks and a mental control to our relationship. We are moving slowly along in our physical relationship and there are many times when I want to speed things up. But I know that he knows best and he is moving slowly so we can learn and grow from each other.

One of my favorite scenes is when James Sander and Maggie are on the phone and he specifically orders her what to eat, “one spoonful of mashed potatoes, 4 peas and as much ice cream as you would like.” She did exactly that. The joy that she gets as she is scooping the mashed potatoes and counting exactly the 4 peas she is going to eat. The joy she is getting from simply doing as she is told. It’s as if he is always with her, reminding her that no matter where she is she is not in control, He is in control of her life, her well being.

The other scene that I really enjoyed was when She realizes that she wants to be with James 24/7. He tries to push her away and tells her that he cannot do it. She is heartbroken when she is fired and pushed away from his life. She becomes engaged and quickly realizes that she cannot be in a vanilla relationship that would never fulfill her desires. She goes back to James and he orders her to stay at the desk and to not move, she stays there for days waiting for him to come and get her. after what seems like weeks of not moving and her family going and trying to help her he finally goes and rescues her. He takes care of her and they are involved in a 24/7 relationship. To the outside world they seem like a normal couple but they know that their lives and relationship is very different.

I’m just falling in love. I want a structure a foundation that we are able to be ourselves no matter what. I see my life with him. I see a home and children where we are together knowing that behind our bedroom doors, when we are alone, he has complete control over me. I want him to tell me what I can wear wheat I cant wear what to eat what to do when I can do it. I want him to be in control of my life. I want him to make a structure that I must follow and if I dont follow it I will be punished.

He would punish me and mold me into what he wants. I need a more submissive relationship now. I know that he has the control but he has to take more control of my life. I want to give him more control of it. I want him not only to take control of our sex life but my life.

I want to be in a 24/7 relationship with him. Be equals and know that we are special. There is no other man that I want. He lights my world and when I am with him there is no one that I think about. Over the past few weeks I have had men hit on me, three ex boyfriends that want to get back with me and I have shut them all down. Shut them down because I know deep inside they will never fulfill me. They couldn’t. There is no way that any of them will be able to satisfy the craving of submitting. Only this lifestyle will and can complete this feeling.